Christmas gifts

Probably irrelevant post coming up. I would like to gripe on Christmas gifts for myself. Rules for buying Christmas gifts.

1. Dont buy a gift unless you really know that someone(dont waste the money and dont waste the space in the guys house, he probably doesnt like it and he has to fake it.)

2. If u absolutely must, then buy something that you can actually use and wont be embarassed to use it (example household things)

3. Do NOT buy clothes because if that someone is particular about what he wears, like me, you are going to get it wrong and he wont wear it and he cant give it away either. Well, unless you know what i like but i would say there are only 2-3 people who can figure out with 75% accuracy what clothes/accessories i like.

4. As much as it may seem attractive, DO NOT RECYCLE unwanted gifts. Well not unless they are damned nice/expensive but you are just have no more space for them anymore.


So for me, gifts that i would really appreciate even if u dont know much about me.

1. Books. (Good novels) ---> NOT harry potter and the like(no offense)
2. Tech stuff(i'm always too lazy to buy them even though i like them)
3. PC games. (with a >90% rating on PC gamer) I haven't bought a game for few years.
4. DVD box set of movies.

but of course if u can impress me with getting me clothing/anything related to appearances that i actually like then full marks.

Btw i dont usually get people christmas gifts, heck, i dont even get people gifts when im back from holidays, but when i do you can be sure i put 101% effort into it.

Feliz Navida

First of all,

Merry Christmas to everyone!

I declare that putting your relationship status can quite possibly be a bad choice. I was reminded of this fact when i saw one of my friend's declare that her relationship was over with this other guy. Well, it may be nice to announce to the world that you 2 are in love and have just begun a journey of love but when it comes to an end, changing that status can be more painful than the joy of putting it there in the first place. Not to mention announcing to the world that you have just broken up with so and so who might be a mutual friend of whoever is reading it, come to think of it, the facebook database now has a record of your broken relationships. It also leads to questions on how to end the relationship (example: "is this your way of officially ending our relationship?") How is someone supposed to do this anyway?! So what you wait for one party to say 'Ok this is enough, time to take this status off facebook' and the other party says the exact same thing as quoted in the above example.

Well to each his own.

But dont say i didnt warn you before you put up the relationship status with that pretty/handsome young thing on facebook.


being slightly random tonight,

to all you people who write xmas, do me a favor and change it to christmas because ultimately this is a day when christ was born, so dont replace that with an x. Never noticed that until couple of years ago when this was pointed out in church.

Snowflake

Tomorrow i hope to have a new chapter of my life. I'm coming home, physically and literally. I am so unbelievably tired physically and mentally after this whole trip, it feels like i could sleep for days. It snowed today for the first time and the night before im leaving. I could almost call it last snow instead of first snow. It was so beautiful, the snowflakes drifting through the air landing softly creating a thin layer of soft snow all around. Have you ever noticed a perfect snowflake up close? Its intricate structure, its alluring softness, the beauty of it? Yet when touched with the bare hand, it melts away leaving nothing but a drop of water on your hand. Blame the strange fascination or ignorance on someone who has always been in a tropical country. Tommorow i am going to meet you for the last time. But i dont think i want to. I dont want to read that letter you have for me. Its all already so clear.

And today someone told me 'I deserve so much better.' I was inclined to agree for awhile but after thinking about it I realised that i got exactly what i deserved and i can blame no one for it, no one but myself for my own foolishness.

Annyung, na eh sarang.

1 Day before departure. Well i thought about writing this at night after seeing her but i guess i'd better write it now. Not so sure if i want to put it in writing after tonight. I changed my mind i dont know what to write anymore. Or rather what is there left to write? I know when i go back it will probably be the last we ever see of each other. I know that when i'm gone you wont be thinking of me, you're much too busy for that anyway. I dont want to break down today. I dont wanna turn around today and see her after we wave goodbye. But i think i will.

I hope that i wont be thinking of you when i'm gone.

Annyung, na eh sarang.

Goodbye, my love.

Alone for a day

I guess i should blog since im back earlier than usual, today was shopping day and i did a lot of damage. Well more specifically, i bought..... a shirt, pants, bagpack, tshirt today and i wont go into the specifics it cost about....140,000 won which is about....150+ sgd. Well i havent shopped much prior to this so i guess its ok. Strange though that the tshirt is the most expensive item in the list. But for people who know me well enough, its normal. Had a whole day by myself and i must say that i was quite productive even though i left the hostel late as usual. I visited noryangjin fish market which is quite amazing even for an asian market because its ALL seafood and lots of types that you wouldnt see in singapore. Heck i even saw 2 lemon sharks in the fish tanks swimming around. I would say this has been more fascinating than any aquarium that i've been to and i've been to the one at COEX in Seoul. But if you arent fascinated by seafood or fishes then....give this place a miss. Its kinda wet and fishy. Its funny how i got a comment from a korean auntie at the fish stall that i have pretty eyes in korean. HOW COME I DONT GET THAT FROM BABES.

Anyhow after that i was off to dongdaemun to haggle and bargain for my stuff and i think i achieved a feat today cos i pissed off the shop owner by doing some 'excessive bargaining' but after all i dont think i got the best deal leh. Oh well. After the whole day of shopping i was off to apjujeong to buy my tee and drink my new favourite drink from this cafe chain called beans and bins(dont ask me why the name is so odd) The ice green tea latte is awesome and went perfectly with a portion of murakami. I'm beginning to like travelling on my own. (save for the fact that i spent excessively today)

Be back in sg soon. Next tues.

i kinda miss our local food.

Ah after a pretty long absence away from my blog, its time to blog again. Perhaps its a little too much free time on my hands, or perhaps it just the need to write to put some thoughts in order. Well since the last time i was speechless maybe i can finally pen down some of the things that are swimming around in my head. Maybe. I just paused for about 2-3 mins before writing this and i dont even know where to begin. Lets start with feelings despite how they are usually an inaccurate and terribly irrational way to start explaining anything. Currently, im numb like a patient who is permanently on morphine, constantly aware of the pain that lies beneath the effects of the drugs at work. Not that its a bad thing, beats constant pain hands down. Well, occasionally there are sharp pangs of pain that lasts no more than a couple of minutes like when she gets a phone call which could be from her bf, or when i say something stupid only to realise that this isnt what it used to be anymore, or when those horrid sweet dreams of both of us come to me at night, and that really gets me down. I think those dreams are a side effect of me suppressing the thoughts to a far flung corner of my mind. I'm a little pissed that i have been having those dreams quite often and it really needs to stop if i'm to move on. Nevertheless, life goes on and i'm moderately happy to say that i achieved at least half i wanted to come here for.

By writing this i realised that i need to accomplish the other half of what i came here for, that is to hear the truth of it. I was deliberating if i should before this, and the pointlessness of it all from hearing whatever meaning there is to 'i just dont love you anymore' or 'i never really liked you anyway' and the endless why's and why not's. Then i realised that the dreams i have of her might continue recurring if i dont hear the truth. So i think its something i have got to do. I didnt spend all this money to come here to get things half done. The only question is when should i ask and how shld i do it.

speechless

speechless

I just realized that my blog url is an irony indeed. a big fat one

utterly, totally, completely

I just heard something from a friend that really shocked me. I suddenly realized how insignificant i am. I'm glad you know what you want in life. I'm glad your direction is as clear as glass. I'm glad you got what you so desire, and i'm glad this just gives me one more reason to come to my senses. But i'm sad i had to hear this from a friend. I'm sorry i am just being a burden, something that stands in your way. Don't ask me what i am writing about. I'll talk for hours. Lets just say maybe i might need a map in Korea after all.

In a way, i can hear the small nagging voices of, 'i told you so'

and to respond to them

I just had to know, i just had to see, and even if it kills me, so be it.

Because after all

I still

feel for you.

Finally.

Its been a hectic week and finally things are quite settled, ready to go on my trip, met up with the pri sch people, bought stuff. Thanks to all the people who helped me out on everything this week and listened to my crap.

Its kind of surreal that i should be seeing her tmr morning. And i'm excited but a little apprehensive. I dont know if i take another parting 2 weeks later.

At least i'll enjoy the weather for sure:)

Solo flight to korea!

Be back on the 23rd. Ciao.

CNN.com

Update! Thai prime minister forced to step down after being proven guilty of rigging votes in the election. I dont care anyway BUT its good that the yellow shirted protesters are finally happy and leaving the airport. Now the red shirted guys are pissed but who cares. Thai airport set to be opened on thursday.

However still dont know if the flight is going to go ahead on monday. I hate this limbo.

and to make everything a little more interesting, my desktop just died.

what is going on man.

saving grace of the whole week, A+ for labor econs. LOL.

Sense of purpose

Is something that i've been a little lacking after the exams. Blame it on job rejection, sheer apathy, holiday mood and perhaps a little too much dota.

Just read more news.

Good news: the protesters in thailand have left parliament building
.
.
.

Bad News: They are headed for the 2 airports to shore up numbers there.

WTH