Breathe, you're just getting started.

Breathe.

Work is getting to me. The hours have been up to expectations after all, but the problem isnt the hours. Its the passion. With passion, we'll be willing to put in the hard work, go the extra mile, and produce that extra drop of effort. Agreed, but the thing is after about a month in here, i haven't had time to take a step back and think about how to ignite that passion. The bigger picture beckons but i stay rooted, absorbed in the work that threatens to steal the essence of me away.

So i attempt to delve deeper, trying to find the root to see if i find out the reason behind my lethargy and apathy. Could it be that if i were in some other field, working on the same mundane stuff, would i be more interested? Unlikely. Simply put, the value of work to me ends when office hours end. There is always going to be more work, when does it ever stop.

Not that im not interested in having great ambitions. But i look at the people around me in lofty positions earning tons of money. Yet, i can't say they are much better than they were before they started. They have achieved their goals i must say, success in the workplace, respect that must be earned through hard work, yet i do not know what they have lost along the path that they chose to walk.

Toil and all, but in the end what is gained, nothing but material possessions, hoarded up serving self serving purposes. Whatever happened to happened to the word 'job' - because isnt that what this is? A job.

Life speeds past us faster than we know and whatever we hold dear to us, our job and our pride in what we do at work is forgotten in a sliver of time when our time is up. Think about it. No matter how lofty our aspirations may be, CEO, president, prime minister whatever, all it takes is 2 weeks to be replaced or less. Build a legacy, be remembered as a great person. but the people who truly remember you as a friend, a son, a brother, a husband; Isnt that what really matters?

Passion for the work that we do. Thats a gift to have, makes you actually enjoy working. But i don't see that all often. Often work buries us and the concern is more of trying to stay in the game rather than enjoying what we do. So what are the limits of passion at work? Does that mean filling every single waking moment with the never ending quest of learning? Certainly sounds noble something that people aspire for. But think about what that really involves for a moment. Work 12 hrs a day and weekends, and spend free time reading about how to further knowledge at work? Sounds like obsession, not passion. What happened to time for other activities, exercise, catching up with friends.

'Since i started work XXX years ago, i havent stopped."

I felt sad when i heard those words. Not for the person who said it, because it meant nothing in his eyes. But i felt empathy because i know there are many people who think they dont have a choice, when in fact, they do.

I'm not advocating throwing down our shovels and pens and workstations, but just stop for a moment, breathe. If you can imagine the world fading away and imagine the things you would cling on to in those fading moments, but make sure you return and know whats really important to you.

Nonetheless, im prepared to stick with this God-given job because i know im going to be moulded and built by my maker and creator. So for now im hoping and praying i find the passion and purpose in what i do. Because im not betting on dying tommorrow.